Saturday, March 13, 2010

Public Service Announcement

The days are starting to lengthen in the Western Hemisphere. Spring is starting to show its self. Those who prefer to ride in lycra are pulling out the lycra shorts.

Please, for all of us out there who ride behind you, if you are pulling out shorts from last year, please, please, please, make sure they have not become see-through with use!!!! I rode for a mile today behind a guy whose chamois shorts were so worn I could tell just how hairy his buttocks were. It was awful. I couldn't catch up with him enough to let him know that I was getting mooned every time he leaned forward. He probably would have liked to know that when the sun hit him his shorts were thin enough to detect the shifting shadows in his crack.

So, people. If you wear lycra and it is from last year, make sure you check it out for coverage. There are enough road hazards and distractions for us all without the addition of de facto nudity.

Oh yes, one other item- Just because you have on Hi Viz clothing on does not mean you have the right of way. The drivers may be blinded by your visibility but they still have the right of way if they were already moving into the intersection when you decided to ride through it. The only thing that will happen here is that you will be more visible while getting hit.

Enough said. Go check your shorts and get riding.


  1. Nothern hemisphere perhaps?

  2. That needs to be a key item on the Lycra code of conduct, no doubt! Hi- Vis does not equal magic right-of-way pixie dust, agreed, and neither does being part of a group blowing through a stop, or having stopped properly at three previous lights, or because the person in front of you snoozed the light.

  3. Thank you, Ade, for that disturbing visual... ;-)

  4. wfb- heeheehee. let's see who else notices.

  5. Thanks for this excellent blog.You make good writing seem effortless.As a crewman on a Bass Strait ferry, it's a little piece of sanity in an ocean of chaos. But back to the lycra shorts; as my wife would say, nothing screams mid life crisis like a middle aged bloke in a pair of spandex shorts!; alternatively, a tragic cry for help.


    PS I like the concept of the East~West hemispheres.4 esasons in one day?

  6. Let the Wind go high let the Wind go low ,douwn the Road in my Lycra I go, All the Lassies say O No No No way no Donal where's your Chamies o.

  7. mark- Any time! We aim to please ; )

    Ian- A ferryman, are ya now? I am glad that we can be of service!

    These particular lycra chamois shorts were tragic. Very tragic. Terribly Greek.. OK. Greek if the Iliad were written by John Cleese.

    l'homme- if you write out that whole song and sing it for us on video I promise we will make you an internet star...personality...guy who has a silly song on a blog somewhere : )

  8. l'h.a.v.: I am just thankful that I was not drinking anything when I read your comment. Great song.

    I think I might not mind outright nudity, but the inadequate coverage is truly much worse. Thankfully, I have no such worries - black denim does not get that thin (or if it does, I notice before anyone else does). Val

  9. T'was on the 4t of March douwn Hollywood Boulevard on ma Bike I went fast,then all of a sudden a Breeze went up me Ar+e and a sweet Voice behind me Rasped Donal there's a Bleedin hole in yere

    That's the second verse if anyone can add to that.I think I should stop now before I get carried away.

  10. hard to understand why lycra gets on yer nerves so much. is it the charming way they say LEFFTT, or is it their friendliness to our possee.... HAR HAR
    I must say, there are many (rare but there) friendly cats in lycra. so much love to the few ones.

    +hey, I rather see worn out lycra than naked people - oh wait. let me re-think about that one... here comes our fine summer festivals – nevermind....

    :D xo.m

  11. My cargo-shorts have got holes in the butt, does that count?

    I'm not changing them though, natural ventilation, it's still too hot down here ;^)

    - Antoine, NZ

  12. I had a riding partner in Colorado who owned a single pair of Lycra shorts, and they were pretty worn through. But at least wasn't stuck behind this guy.